No Friend

These old letters from years ago

I felt it was leading to a

When I wrote this I may have been finally able to address how it feels

Another brick-red room

Another black-top town

Another misspelled band burning their own houses down

Another pine-box tune to fill the cemetery day another stay

A touch of orange over purgatory gray

Another thorny field to scatter fruitless seed

Another song that runs too long

God knows no one needs more misguided ghosts

More transparent hands to drop a nickel in our basket and we’ll do our riot! dance beneath another burning sky

Behind our painted lips in scares catatonic smile-covered ankle-bitten ships

So throw your pedestal of stone in the forgetful sea as protection from the paper-thin

Perfection you project on me when this repetition ends behind the window shades

A semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I’ve made

That most unrestful bed

That most original of sins and you’ll say that’s what I get when I let ambition win again

I’d hate to let you down so I’ll let the waters rise and drown my dull reflection in the naive expectation in your eyes back in a cast bit-part

Back when I felt most free

I had a butcher’s heart and no one thought they knew me

So before the regiment resumes

Before the dreaded sun appears

My driver’s waiting so let’s make one point crystal clear:

You see a flood-lit form

I see a shirt design

I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine

You’re no friend of mine

You’re no friend of mine

I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine

You see a flood-lit form

I see a shirt design

I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine

I see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes

Realising what they see may not be even close to the image I see in myself

And I hate I might actually be more afraid

I feel like they know the story

I saw a bear floating in the river and thought it was a fur coat

Twelve years ago I stood on the shore

Jump in and grab the coat

And the river is rushing toward a waterfall

And my friend stood at the shore and shouted to let go of the coat and swim back to land

I let go of the coat but the coat won’t let go of me

In any case please let me know if there’s more I can give you

If nothing comes of it, then just know we are grateful